If the Child Is OK, the Adult Will Be Too
Have you ever wondered why some reactions feel bigger than the moment?
Why a small comment hits like a wound—or why success doesn’t always feel like healing?
Most people don’t realize that their adult decisions are being filtered through childhood experiences. And in a lot of cases, the child inside isn’t just whispering…
He’s still running the show.
My friend Tony Harris said something that’s stuck with me ever since:
“If the child is OK, the man is OK.”
After a two-hour conversation with Tony, I understood what he meant on a deeper level.
Like him, I started carrying around a photo of the child version of myself—as a reminder:
If he’s good, then I’m good.
It might sound small. But that mental shift is huge.
I read an article on PsychCentral that said the average adult’s emotional processing age is around 13.5 years old.
Let that sink in.
That means many of us are walking through life—handling relationships, conflict, rejection, pressure, and dreams—with the emotional tools of a middle schooler.
This is where The Where Factor shifts from external goals to internal alignment:
• Where are you going in your personal growth and healing?
• Why is that healing essential—not just for you now, but for the child version of you who’s still influencing how you love, lead, and live?
• What can you do daily to care for that child—so the adult version of you can lead with peace, power, and purpose?
For me, that “what” includes:
• Regular self-reflection and journaling
• Surrounding myself with mentors, coaches, and friends who hold me accountable
• Staying engaged with mental health resources
• Practicing self-compassion when my younger self gets triggered
1. Find a Photo of Your Younger Self
Carry it. Frame it. Keep it in your wallet or on your lock screen.
Let it remind you that the version of you who needed more love, safety, or support still matters.
2. Reflect on the Gaps
Ask yourself:
• What did I need more of as a child that I can give myself now?
• What old wound still shows up when I’m under pressure?
Awareness isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
3. Start Reparenting Yourself
Treat yourself with patience.
Speak to yourself with kindness.
Don’t bully your progress. Heal at your own pace.
4. Stay in Community
Isolation amplifies old trauma.
Surround yourself with people who honor your healing, not just your hustle.
So, I’ll ask you:
Is your inner child OK?
Take a moment and apply The Where Factor to your healing journey:
• Where do you still feel emotionally stuck or triggered?
• Why is healing that version of you critical to the future you’re building?
• What simple act of care can you do this week for that child within?
Key Takeaway:
If the child is OK, the adult will be too.
Healing doesn’t always start with hustle—it starts with wholeness.
Don’t just chase new goals—care for the old version of you that helped you survive long enough to pursue them.
“Two Books, One Mission: Your Guide to Clarity and Purpose”
Ready to take the next step in redefining your goals and gaining clarity? Discover the tools and insights you need with my books:
📖Where Why What: Unlock the Secret to Clarify Your Goals – Learn how to clarify your vision, take intentional action, and achieve your dreams.
📖 The Where Factor: From Adoption to Entrepreneurship – A powerful book aligning past, present, and future for success.
– Don’t wait—Start your journey today:
www.TheChrisChaney.com 
Leave a comment