Showing Up: How Commitment to Others Becomes Commitment to Yourself
A few months ago, I started going to the gym. I didn’t start because I had a big fitness goal. I didn’t start because I had some grand plan to transform my body. I started because my homeboy Dylan invited me.
At first, it was just about showing up for him. But what I didn’t expect was that in the process of showing up for him, I was actually learning to show up for myself.
How often do we commit to something for someone else, only to realize later that it was exactly what we needed, too?
When Dylan first asked me to hit the gym, I said bet, I’m in. But the first day I was supposed to go, I ran over on time and had to cancel.
I didn’t think much of it… until later.
Dylan and I had a conversation about attachment theory, and I sent him a quiz to take. When he got his results, it hit me—he was Fearful-Avoidant. If you know anything about attachment styles, you know that Fearful-Avoidant individuals often expect people to let them down.
And I had just let him down.
Not on purpose, not maliciously, but in a way that could have reinforced what life had already taught him: that people don’t show up.
At that moment, I had a choice—was I going to be just another person who didn’t come through, or was I going to be intentional about being different?
This is where The Where Factor came in, even before I realized it:
• Where did I want to go?
• I wanted to be a person who follows through on commitments, in relationships and in life.
• Why was that important?
• Because my relationships are built on trust, and trust is built on consistency.
• What could I do to make sure I didn’t reinforce the cycle of disappointment?
• I could show up. Consistently.
So I told Dylan, “Hey, I gotta buy some new shoes. But when I do, I’m in.”
And the day I bought those shoes, I sent him a message: I’m in there. I’ll be there at 4:30.
That one decision changed everything.
What I thought was just about being reliable for a friend ended up being something much bigger.
• By showing up for Dylan, I created accountability for myself.
• By staying consistent with him, I became consistent for myself.
• By committing to him, I unconsciously committed to my own growth.
And now? I’ve been showing up for three months straight.
This isn’t just about the gym—it’s about life. How often do we tell ourselves we’re going to do something and then find an excuse not to? But when we attach our commitments to the people we care about, it changes things.
It’s easy to let yourself down. But letting down someone who trusts you? That hits different.
So, I’ll ask you: Who do you need to show up for?
• A friend?
• A business partner?
• A family member?
• Yourself?
Apply The Where Factor to your own life:
• Where are you trying to go?
• Why does showing up matter to you?
• What’s one action you can take today to be consistent?
Drop a comment or share your experience—I’d love to hear how you’re navigating commitment, consistency, and personal growth.
Key Takeaway:
Showing up for others is often the first step to showing up for yourself. Consistency builds trust—not just in relationships, but in your own ability to grow and evolve. When you commit to someone else, you create accountability for yourself. Keep showing up. For them. For you. For the life you’re building.
📖Where Why What: Unlock the Secret to Clarify Your Goals – Learn how to clarify your vision, take intentional action, and achieve your dreams.
📖 The Where Factor: From Adoption to Entrepreneurship – A powerful book aligning past, present, and future for success.
– Don’t wait—Start your journey today:
www.TheChrisChaney.com 
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